I work in a quiet office with 4 other guys. The boss is set back in an office and I rarely hear anything from him, but I can easily hear my other three co-workers over our 5-ft cubicle walls. I find it amazing that all three of these guys (all much younger than me) seem to have “family issues” that can be easily discerned in their one-sided phone conversations.
Dude-1 has most of his “problems” with his two children. One is probably 10 and the other is maybe 13. He is on the phone with one or both of them at least once-a-day, and often more. I frequently hear him “yelling” at these kids (albeit with his “inside voice”) and he is constantly telling them what they should be doing or what they should not be doing and interrogating them on where they are and where they are going. These kids seem to need this level of attention too – or even more – because his oldest son has clearly been in serious trouble already and it is not unusual for the kid to be hanging out in the office with his father because he has been suspended from school. This guy often leaves work early or comes in late because of a kiddy-crisis – generally at least once a week.
Dude-2 is on the phone with his wife at least 2 or 3 times a day and often for a half-hour or more at a time. The gist of these conversations always seems to be the same too. His wife is apparently asking him for advice on some aspect of her life (3-times a day??) and he is either saying that he doesn’t care what she does, or he is saying that he thinks she is nuts for caring and carrying-on about whatever the subject is. These conversations are usually irascible and end with the guy saying that they can discuss the matter further at home, or with just a tellingly abrupt disconnect.
Dude-3 is both the youngest and most recent member of our little group. I was dismayed to hear that even he has “domestic issues” that are clearly present in phone conversations. He too is on the phone with his wife regularly, but at least in his case it is usually not more than about once a day. As his personal cell-phone rings with his wife’s ring-tone I can hear him swearing in exasperation before answering and these conversations too are always clipped and sharp. It is obvious from his tenor and words that he finds these mid-day interruptions extremely annoying. I never really hear any substance here as his primary interest is to shut his wife down and get off the phone as quickly as possible. I also suspect that he realizes that the rest of us can easily hear him and he is thankfully sensitive about spreading his private life all over the office.
All of these habits seem very odd to me. My wife and I do talk to each other on the phone occasionally – but probably only about once a month on average and usually only when there is something that truly can’t wait until we see each other again in the evening. As opposed to these other people, after the point of the call has been made, our conversations are always light and pleasant and I notice (by contrast) that I am often laughing or joking with my wife as we talk – and I wonder if these other guys notice that too and maybe even envy it. My wife and I also text sometimes during a work-day, but again, this happens no more than once or twice a month and always for some serious and time-sensitive reason. We certainly do not consult each other numerous times a day on whatever silly personal minutia it is that these other people seem to find so urgent.
This is sometimes called the Age of Communication with ubiquitous personal cell-phones and electronic social-media and the ability to be in constant contact with everyone you know all the time. What I don’t get is;
Why would anyone think that this is a Good Thing?
In the Old-Days it was frowned upon to have personal phone conversations at work, and there were sometimes even corporate “rules” against it because the office phone was a company resource that cost real money, not to mention the unproductive work-time involved. Now with personal mobile phones and unlimited family-plan calling people can push a button to inform their Significant Other how upset they are that someone just stole the nice parking space that they had their eye on, or ask (as long as they are standing in the aisle of the food-store) whether mother-in-law would like shredded or au gratin potatoes when she visits next weekend. I mean, Jesus Christ people – get a few brain-cells and think for yourself! There seem to be a lot of people, and especially younger ones, who think that this Borg-like level of communication is normal and desirable – but it is neither. Perpetual contact and communication is debilitating and not even “human” and far from drawing people in a relationship closer, it is much more likely to drive them apart. A little space and privacy in a relationship is not just preferable, it is necessary. Remember that it is also true that; Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.
John's Jejune Journal 