We Are the Borg

A random comment from somewhere put a thought in my head the other day, though it is probably far from original. The thought is that the human race is fast evolving into The Borg – you know – the old Star Trek evil nemesis (and very similar to the current flying-monkey Centipede bad-guys on “Marvel’s Agents of Shield”). I am sure that there are plenty of other examples of this cybernetic concept too – it is very popular in Sci-Fi.

Now, for the time being we do not have actual “consumer-level” biomechanical implants, but clearly we are headed in that direction. Society’s fascination with and worshiping embrace of “personal-technology” is the obvious precursor to all of this. People walk around with their faces glued to their smart-phones, they assume that permanent 24/7 communication contact is natural and normal and they feel hopelessly lost and disconnected when they cannot communicate with The Collective … umm, I mean their Facebook and Twitter “friends”. Remember Hugh? Are you really any different? How many people these days could get through a day without relying on other mechanical extensions like cars, washing machines, computers and other contrivances? To someone from even 150 years ago we are all already a bizarre amalgamation of biological life and machine that would probably appear indistinguishable and grotesquely symbiotic.

Next is Google Glass (soon with 2-way communication) and then frankly, the logical follow-on will surely be the implants themselves. Maybe it will start with an imbedded RFID chip keyed to your DNA that will act as a proximity debit-card for banking transactions. I mean, what could possibly be more secure and convenient than just waving your hand in front of a reader to make a purchase and instantly “seeing” the transaction posted along with your current balance on the inside of the comm-contacts in your eyes? Everybody will want to do that, right? What is there to not like? Just relax and accept the inevitable assimilation – it shouldn’t hurt much after version 2.0 is released. In a few years you won’t even be able to function in society without bio-electronic banking and instant world-wide in-brain direct communication with everyone else on the planet, and all of the other wondrous advantages that The Collective has to offer. Just go with it – any resistance is futile anyway and all the weird-o Luddites out there will be ex-TERRRR-minated.

The Holiday Nazis

November 25, 2013

What I hate most about “The Holidays” isn’t the commercialism, although that is pretty obnoxious. I also do not begrudge anyone else their celebrations and festivals; be they secular or religious. To each his own, in my opinion. Go ahead and knock yourself out if you really-and-truly enjoy it. No, what I really hate about The Holidays is the enforced participation of everyone whether you like it or not.

I suppose that I shouldn’t complain too much. I am sure that there are many places in the world where the homogeneity of society makes behavioral conformity even more rigid that it is here in the US (like being arrested or worse for what you wear while walking down the street). Still, what really irks me about this time of year is the automatic expectation of involvement, even if involuntary and perfunctory. It is the nonnegotiable demand to partake in the celebration, regardless of individual preference. It is the total abrogation of Free Will.

All those people bubbling over with “Holiday Cheer” are really just smiley-faced Nazis forcing all around them into their effervescent fantasy at gunpoint. I don’t care if they want to live in a Norman Rockwell painting (which was never real – even at the time it was created), but why do they insist on dragging me in there along with them? Why is my presence in their dream-world mandatory?

We did “The Usual” for Thanksgiving and Christmas when I was growing up, and I actually have some fond memories of those times. Now-a-days however I am 60, my wife and I have no family (to speak of) and I find it really obnoxious that others don’t seem to be able to just Let It Be.

“Oh-My-God”, they say;

“You don’t have any family to spend Thanksgiving with? You must come over to our house and ‘share’ the holiday with us and our family”.

They say this with an absolute horror in their voice making it clear that even contemplating quiet solitude on The Great Day is an incomprehensible sacrilege. If it were just me, I’d say; “Thanks, but no thanks” and that would be the end of it regardless of the wailing protests from the hovering Holiday Nazi. My wife however is not that strong-willed. This means that we are going to spend Thanksgiving in some strange house filled with a large number of people I don’t know and a couple of people I don’t like, and somehow this is supposed to be “joyous” and “warm” and “cheerful”. I think not!

This is just the beginning too. For the next 6-weeks there will be strangers bouncing around plastering decorations everywhere and wishing the politically-correct “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings” at everyone they pass because even if you don’t belong to their particular religious sect, if you breathe air you are required to join into the same social ritual too. There is simply no escaping it. I always decline as many of the Holiday Parties as I can, but invariably I get sucked in to one or two – usually because my wife insists on it. I am not necessarily against all social gatherings. I would however be much more interested in attending a party at, say,  the end of January or mid-February when the weather is oppressively cold and we might actually need some cheering up in the middle of the long, dark, dreary winter.

I guess that this is one of the many “Social Things” about humanity that I just don’t get. This requirement for universal participation in a group ritual seems to be based on the way most people need to pretend to themselves that they are not alone in the universe, but that they are a member of a “community” that thinks, acts and believes-in the same stuff. These people may not identify themselves as “Aryan”, or even Christian, but there is still a complete intolerance toward outliers and dissenters and non-participants. They have even given us a pejorative label – the Holiday Nazis call us “Scrooge”.

A Declaration of Independence

NOTICE: To all users of smart-phones, texting devices, e-mail, Internet social-media or good ol’-fashioned landlines;

I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE YOU – Without apology, without explanation and without shame.

You see, just because you have the ability to contact me 24-hours a day, 365-days a year does not mean that I have the obligation to acknowledge you. Synchronous communication is a two-way agreement. This will not just happen simply at your convenience, it will also occur (if it does at all) at my discretion too. If I am doing something important (or, in fact, almost anything at all) when the phone rings or the text-tone chirps or the e-mail ding-dongs I will not necessarily interrupt myself for you.

If you find this policy annoying you may put your objections down on paper with a pen and then put a goddamn stamp on it.